Many people are great planners. They plan what classes to take in high school to get into the right college to get that one job so that they can buy a house and have a family, and so on. Planning is certainly not a bad thing. But people often don’t make any plans when it comes to their character. If they do think about character, it is about who not to be. Don’t be mean, don’t be a jerk, don’t be rude. This type of thinking doesn’t help them plan how they would like to be instead.
We would argue that HOW you do things is just as important as WHAT you do. In a society that values accomplishment over character, people often don’t take the time to consider how their actions impact others or the earth. People like this aren’t necessarily bad people, but they lack intentionality.
A family mission statement will allow you to be specific about how you’d like your family to operate by taking the time to think about who you would like to be. This will allow your family to positively impact the world and stay true to your values.
What is a family mission statement?
A family mission statement is an umbrella statement that guides all other decision-making. It isn’t a list of all the things you’d like to do and accomplish in your lifetime. Instead, a family mission statement speaks to your character and guides HOW you do things. What you do throughout your life will change while your mission statement will stay the same.
A mission statement should be simple so that it can be recalled and applied in everyday situations. In addition, it should focus on the positive and talk about what you will do instead of what you won’t do. This makes it actionable.
Why is a family mission statement Important?
We want our children to grow up to be kind, productive members of society who consider the impact that they’re having on the world. Character is developed, and character education takes time, just like any other type of education. We need to think about what we want for our kids to encourage them to develop those attributes.
A family mission statement allows you to be intentional and evaluate your decisions based on the type of person you would like to be. It gives you the HOW when you are deciding the WHAT. Each family will have a mission statement that will look a bit different.
Most importantly, knowing who you would like your kids to develop into will help to guide your parenting. When handling your children, you can think, “Is what I’m doing helping my kids to become _____________ (kind, determined, thoughtful, capable, independent, problem solvers)?” You might be surprised to discover the number of times that your
Once you have a family mission statement, you will be able to pick out the
How to Write a Family Mission Statment: 5 Easy Steps
Your family mission statement will be a list of 10 positive attributes that are in line with your values. That’s it. It’s that simple. Again, simplicity allows your mission statement to be actionable and applied in the moment daily.
Here is how to write your family mission statement:
1. Google “positive attributes”
Pull up a long list of positive attributes.
2. Write down all of the words that you would like to embody.
Think about the person you would like to be in the world. Consider what you would like for your family and your kids. If your kid’s teacher called you up, what would you want that person to say about them? Get out a pen and paper and write down all of those words.
Look at the positive attributes you have pulled up and make your list by selecting any words that speak to you. You will begin to see what is important to you and understand your values.
If your kids are older, you can involve them in the process of picking words and discussing character. They can even make a list of their own if they would like.
3. Combine words that are similar.
Once you have selected lots of words, begin grouping words that seem similar to you. Words like kind and friendly might go together or determined and hard working. You will start to see a theme and further discover your values.
4. Select 10 words
Look at your groups of words and select a word from each group that most speaks to you. Eventually, narrow down your list to just 10 words. These 10 words will be more than enough to describe the type of person you would like to be and will be easy for you to remember. This simplicity is the key to making the mission statement something that you use. Anyone can recall and implement 10 words.
5. Post the list where you and your family can see it.
Share the list with your family, post it on the refrigerator, in the car, or on the bathroom mirror. This will serve as a reminder for your family about who you would like to be in the world and help to guide your choices.
Language is a powerful thing. Simply “claiming” positive words about yourself will aid you in becoming a person that genuinely embodies those words.
How to Use a Family Mission Statement
Think of ways to model your 10 words for your kids daily. Observing you in action will be the best character education they can receive. And practice will help shape you into a person that embodies those words as well! Don’t worry when you don’t model the words perfectly all the time. It is okay to show your kids that you’re learning too. But don’t expect your kids to act in ways that you don’t.
Maybe your words are generous, compassionate, listener, hard worker, patient, honest, determined, problem solver, encourager, and assertive. Whether you are at the grocery store, talking to your mom on the phone, or dealing with a challenging teenager, you can think, “How am I being a good listener right now? How am I being honest and assertive? How can I show kindness?”
It becomes easy to implement these words in real-time because you have focused on what to do instead of what not to do.
When problem-solving with your kids about situations they’re dealing with, help them think about ways to embody the words that your family has picked. If you’re looking for additional ways to discuss character, consider the books you’re reading to your kids. Growing Book By Book has an excellent list of children’s picture books that teach positive character traits.
Final Thoughts of Family Mission Statements
We hope you see that character does matter and that what you model for your kids is important. Become part of the movement to shift society’s focus away from accomplishments and celebrate strong character instead. Take the time to write a family mission statement and use it to guide your decision-making and daily interactions.
Training your kids is easier than you might think, and you’re capable. You’ve got this!
- Looking for more thoughts on
parenting ? Check out: Why We HATE Elf on the Shelf
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